Big Oil and the XL pipeline

Hi Folks, I know it's been a while since I've posted anything here but life happened, for better and worse and Facebook has filled my random need to rant every now and again. The issue of this post has been bugging me for quite some time now and I need to get it out of me. Lately I've been seeing a lot of posts regarding the XL pipeline and how much good it would do for America, create jobs, drive the cost of fuel down, eliminate our energy dependence on foreign oil and so on. Before you run away thinking this is another tree hugger rant please bare with me for a minute. The environmentalists certainty have a legitimate bitch but this post will not focus on that.

The picture is Vladimir Putin and Rex Tillerson(CEO of Exxon-Mobil) and was taken in April of last year, given the recent developments in the oil rich Ukraine I think it speaks for itself. Let me start with a number. 40 billion. Put a dollar sign in front of that number and you have the annual profits of Exxon-Mobil, notice I said profits, not sales, that number is after all salaries, expenses and operating costs. Let's break it down. 40 billion dollars a year, big number but it's just a number right? Here's what it looks like- 40,000,000,000 -ok, let's do some math... divide by 365 for the days in a year and we get 109.6 million per day, divide again by 24 and we get 4.56 million per hour, what the hell, let's do 60 again for minutes, 76,100. That's $76,100 dollars per minute...profit...keep going? ok, one more 76,100/60 = 1268.33 WOW $1,268.33 dollars per fucking second, did I mention this is profit, take home, what they clear every second of every damn day. Moving on, Canadian Tar Sands. Listening to Main Stream Media - especially the right leaning ones - you would get the impression that all this job making, economy saving, independence giving oil is just sitting there in the ground waiting for someone to build a pipeline that would solve all our energy/economic problems. Got news for you, it's already being pumped out of the ground and is making its way south via railcar and truck to the refineries in the gulf of mexico, besides those refineries in the Gulf there are also shipping ports capable of handling really big ships that carry.... petroleum, hmmm... more on that later. So, why don't we build this pipeline, think of all the jobs it would create...for what, 18-24 months till the pipe is run...then what? What happens to all the truck drivers and rail workers who have been working overtime for a few years hauling the crude south? How about the workers building the tanker cars and trailers? Yeah, one big problem the oil companies face right now? They have to pay PEOPLE to get the oil to the refineries, sucks to be you huh? Gotta pay for new rail cars, tank trucks, drivers, production workers, skilled tradesman, upkeep on roads and railways - cutting into your razor thin margins? Just build a pipe line. Create some short term temp jobs and then eliminate all the behind the scenes/low profile, long term jobs that are helping people make a decent living! Brilliant! Profits go up, investors are happy, we get some good media coverage and put 100,000 money grubbing middle class peasants out of work, who can now find a part time job at our convenience store and work below the poverty line getting subsidised health insurance and food stamps putting more stress on the government and reducing the income taxes they were paying that we don't pay to begin with. Fuckin'-A. All we need to do is line the pockets of a few key politicians, write some "news" stories that the media outlets and political pundits we own will feed to the masses. Why stop there, once the crude is in the gulf it seems silly to pay those union guys top dollar to refine it especially since we have all those empty tankers that just off-loaded all that easy to refine crude from the middle east - let's fill em up with tar sand crude and send them to our South American refineries where those poor bastards only make 16 bucks a month working 80 hours a week. Damn, Son! I'm getting a hard-on thinking about all that money. Whoa there big guy, let's think about this. If we build a couple refineries up north in say...oh I don't know, Detroit? They are hurting for work right now. It's right across the border, only need a couple hundred miles of pipe, then we can put a lot of people to work in the refineries and create even more jobs hauling the refined gas all over the country on roads/rails that already exist. It would be good for the country, create long term/good paying jobs, increase the tax base, keep the greenies happy(no pipeline through the heartland) and it would only reduce your un-godly profits to $1000.00 per second.....nah fuck that, it might scare the investors away.

Badass Bible Quotes

This weeks Lyrical Challenge

Can you correctly identify the song and artist?


He came dancing across the water

With his galleons and guns

Looking for the new world

In that palace in the sun



On the shore lay Montezuma

With his coca leaves and pearls

In his halls he often wandered

With the secrets of the worlds.



And his subjects gathered 'round him

Like the leaves around a tree

In their clothes of many colours

For the angry gods to see.



And the women all were beautiful

And the men stood straight and strong

They offered life in sacrifice

So that others could go on.



Hate was just a legend

And war was never known

The people worked together

And they lifted many stones



They carried them to the flatlands

And they died along the way

But they built up with their bare hands

What we still can't do today.



And I know she's living there

And she loves me to this day

I still can't remember when

Or how I lost my way.



He came dancing across the water

######, ######

What a killer.

From Panic comes Hope

I was on a work assignment in Atlanta, Ga. 1988 when the guys on the crew suggested I go see a really hot band from Athens that evening - "Wide Spread Panic" - How can you go wrong with a name like that, back to the hotel for a quick shower and out the door for a club in the Little Five Points area of Downtown ATL. The crowd was diverse with hippies, preps, bikers, punkers and even a few suit and ties, what kind of band could bring all these peoples together in a mellow happy atmosphere? I got the answer a few minutes later when "Panic" took the stage, from the very first chord it was apparent that these guys were the real deal - they "meant it" when a group of musicians gets on stage and bares their soul to the crowd and even the dude with the slicked back hair and wife beater, whose only mission for the night was another conquest, puts down his drink and is enveloped by the groove, you know something special is happening. Panic took everyone in the bar that evening on a journey to someplace where there was no war, hunger, hatred, black white or negativity, it was "religion" in it's purest form and it touched my soul. Flash forward 8 years. The cassette tape I bought on the way out the door that magical night had long since been worn to a droning hiss, a local radio station announces a new band called "Wide Spread Panic" is coming to town and they are giving away tickets to a little pre-show gig in a local recording studio called "Dajelon", caller 15...I dropped my nail gun and ran for the phone and won 2 tickets!! I think the radio station was WMAX and they would periodically collaborate with the Dajalon Studio for a event called "Live at Dajelon" it was about as intimate as a recording studio can be, small stage and maybe 50 folding chairs set up in front with pizza, wings and sodas in the back. Around noon, the band walks on stage, John Bell has a half empty 12 pack of Bud, they begin to play and instantly take me right back to that bar in Atlanta, They played the entire Space Wrangler album, and a couple weeks later WMAX broadcast the gig start to finish commercial free, I recorded it and once again had my Panic fix.
Now it's 2009, married, kids the economy sucks, my once steady job is long gone, I've been overcome by war, hatred, worries, politics, bills, life is killing me slowly, I'm losing hope, panic..... I'm online looking for work yet again and an email pops up from my beautiful wife - Allman Bros. and Wide Spread Panic are coming to CMAC, you want to go? My heart skips a beat HELL YEAH I WANNA GO, then reality rears it's ugly head, shit, we can't afford to go and spend money on entertainment... I write back, "luv to but can't afford it" as I hit send my message was somehow transformed into "let's do it!" before I can correct it, a reply comes back " it's done". Divine intervention perhaps? It's a Saturday night, puffy clouds are scattered in the warm breezy sky, we are driving to the outdoor venue at CMAC, a perfect place for music on a perfect evening. As we pass by the other folks walking to the show, I am once again amazed by the diversity , an old gray beard on the side of the road with a sign that says "I need tickets" I laugh and say - "look at the old dude", my wife reminds me that if it were me standing there, one could say the same...ok, point taken. The vibe in the parking lot is very mellow, everyone having a good time and relaxed, as we walk up the sidewalk towards the stage, the tour coach passes us, 30 minutes later Panic opens the show and halfway through the first song I am once again returned to that place where everything is good. As I look around the venue at all the out stretched hands overhead and everyone swaying in unison, it seemed as though we were not sitting in a theatre watching a musical performance but instead riding a giant roller coaster through the astral plane on a ride through time ( no I wasn't trippin') Thank you Wide Spread Panic once again for giving me hope and reminding me of what's really important in life, and thanks to Derek Trucks and Warren Haynes for feeding off and adding to the energy that was onstage that night. It had been 21 years since I first saw that show in ATL y'all still have it going on, and thank you for baring your souls to so many people and giving us all a part of you to take with us forever. Peace, Jon

Job Market

The other day I joined one of these online job services, I don’t want to publicly trash talk any one but this companies initials are CareerBuilder.com. You simply send them a resume` and they use their vast database of open positions and their "patent-pending recommendation engine" to match your qualifications with an appropriate job.
Let me give you some background here, I have worked in the trade show/exhibit industry for the past 20 years and before that I had a construction/mechanical background. My talents are cabinet making, machining and fabricating along with installation and supervision.
OK, I was pretty stoked about this job service, it’s a great idea, but as I will explain, it seems the actual application of the concept to the real world leaves a bit to be desired. After joining the service I immediately received an email from them with a list of ‘matching’ job openings, I’m thinking WOW! This is awesome, I open the email and the first job listed…the best possible match is… ‘Mammogram Technician’ WTF?!?! Ok, being a heterosexual male, I like boobs, and having worked in a shop for my whole life, I know how to operate a vise AND, I own a digital camera, but matching my qualifications to this job is a stretch no matter how you look at it, not to mention I think I’d have a hard time explaining to my wife my sudden interest in other women’s breasts!! Alright, I’ll chalk that up to a computer glitch, next match… the second most likely position I qualify for? ‘Medical Administrative Assistant’ hmmm, I’m beginning to see a pattern develop. OK, my Mom was a nurse, I have a sister who IS a Medical Administative Assistant and having ridden motorcycles since I was 7, I have had more than my share of injuries, including 20 broken bones….some of which I’ve even set myself. However, I didn’t mention any of these things in my resume and am a little freaked out that they could somehow make the connection that I am a good match for a job in the medical field. Third on the list, let me guess…Obstetrician?? Nope, Deputy Sheriff...uh-huh, I have had quite a bit of experience in roadside negotiations with deputy sheriffs, state troopers and the local constabulary. To this day when I see a police car on the road my heart skips a beat and I do a mental inventory of all the things I might possibly get pulled over for, speeding, inspection sticker, lights not working, loud pipes, pony-tail sticking out from my helmet, I've been pretty legal as of late but old habits do die hard. How any of this could make me a good candidate for a position in law enforcement baffles me. On to number four on my list of jobs created by CareerBuilder.com’s ‘patent-pending recommendation engine’‘Pharmacy Technician’ - ummm....we’ll just leave that one alone.
Thanks CareerBuilder, for wasting my time. What, you may ask, do any of these jobs have to do with me? After investigating a bit I discovered that the only thing that would remotely associate my resume with these jobs is location, they are all within 50 miles of my house…is that how your “patent-pending recommendation engine” works? You might want to fine tune it a bit more before you go any further with the patent, those things can be pretty pricey.

The Dole

Workforce New York

Due to testicle difficulties (not mine mine by the way) beyond my control, I recently joined the ranks of the unemployed. Having been gainfully employed for the past 30 consecutive years, I am eligible for the state of New York's unemployment insurance program.

Being on the Dole is a pretty new concept to me, and I must admit that I'm enjoying it a little too much. I simply log on to the Dept. of Labors website every sunday, answer a few simple questions and the state credits my "Workforce NY" debit card with my weekly benefit. How nice is that? I can buy groceries, pay my utility bills, treat my family to a nice dinner at an expensive restaraunt, buy crap on the internet, restock my liquor cabinet, book a flight to Vegas and gamble ....wait a minute now, some of these things don't seem like they should be permitted, being on the Dole and all. Ok, I've read the fine print on my card agreement and there are indeed 3 things that I cannot use my debit card for. Paying my phone bill for instance, well sure, that makes sense, why would I need to pay my phone bill, it's not like I have to call prospective employers to set up an interview or anything. What else.....ok, I cannot purchase gas with my card, well yeah! If I can't make any phone calls to set up an interview OBVIOUSLY I won't need to use any gas, DUH !! Criuses. I cannot book a cruise using my WFNY card?...hmmm....doesn't really make any sense...oh well, guess I'll just have to walk down to the liquor store and get some booze, if I pass by any bars on the way I can stop in for a drink and play a few games of Quick Draw, buy a couple lotto tickets and some smokes. Maybe I'll pass by a place of employment that's looking for help. No potential employer is going to bat an eye if I walk into their parking lot, carrying my sack from the liquor store, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes with a couple lotto tickets sticking out of my pocket and ask to fill out a job application. I wonder what I should put down for how to contact me...I don't have a phone....ok, I'll just tell them to call the bar and leave a message. Meanwhile I better get home, there's a great new show on HBO that I just CAN'T miss, better grab some beer at the mini-mart...ohh look an ATM wonder if I can get some cash with my WFNY card...YUP awesome!! Now I can get a bag of weed too.....damn, I sure am glad that the state passed a 13 week extention for my benefits. What's that? I also get a 7 week federal extention!?!? WFNY ?? More like WTF-NY

To Infinity and Beyond!!!!

It's finally over. 8 years of the lies and deceptions of a stolen office have ended. Break out the hats and hooters folks, Georgie's going home !!!!!!!

Bubye Dubya XOX

Sláinte Mhaith, I.B.

Brian Wilson Sr.

This lifesize sculpture in 1/2" steel was done by my recently deceased friend and former co-worker Brian Wilson. Brian was a noted local artist famous for his "flying machine" pieces.

You lived life well Brian - we'll miss you.....

It's the end of the world as we know it......

Clearly a major disturbance in the force, an ominous sign of the impending apocolypse. James Hetfield, lead singer of Metallica in shorts, sandals and carrying and Armani bag !?!?! Please James, tell me there is an AK47, 500 rounds of ammo and a gallon of Stoli in that bag.....

Hard to tell from this grainy photo, but this villain stands over six feet tall!!

Jackelope Hunting

The Jackelope is a rare and ellusive creature whose succulent venison is truly the food of Kings. There are many varieties of Jackelopes. The North Eastern Woodland Jack is the largest and most dangerous variety and I am lucky enough to live in the midst of their habitat. The males, called bucks, develope impressive antlers as they mature. Looking like a cross between a Jack Rabbit and a White Tailed Deer, these powerful, omniverous and nocturnal predators range in size from 60 to well over 200 pounds and possess uncanny senses that some say border on the supernatural.
My first encounter with them happened some 40 years ago, I was a young boy of six, enjoying a early evening firefly hunt in the field next to my families home, I foolishly had a half eaten candy bar in my back pocket. Suddenly I was attacked from behing, thrown to the ground and savagely pummeled, upon regaining consciousness I discovered that my mayonaisse jar containing my firefly catch had been opened and all my prized glowing insects had been released, further examination revealed that I had been relieved of my candy bar, as I approached my older sister, tears streaming down my face and told her my story, she just smiled knowingly, swallowed and said, "Jackelopes" This life changing event instilled a burning hatred in me for these vile animals, that until recently remained dormant.
The event that rekindled my fear and hatred of Jackelopes began quite innocently on a fine clear summer night as I sat on my deck enjoying the warm breeze, starry sky, a cigar and a glass or two of Irish whiskey. As I was refilling my glass the song of the crickets and tree frogs I had been enjoying suddenly stopped, an eerie silence ensued. Now, the visciousness of the ensueing attack seems to have affected my memory, as the rest of the evening is a bit blurry, but it seems I remember seeing a movement out of the corner of my eye as I drained my tumbler, my next memory finds me laying in my neighbors yard, stripped to my skivvies with a pounding headache, the obvious victim of a savage Jackelope attack, as I dazedly followed the trail of my shredded clothing in the early morning daylight back through the woods to my house, a sneaking suspicion began within me that increased as I discovered that my once full bottle of whiskey now lay empty on the deck. A quick bit of research confirmed my theory. It seems Jackelope bucks are attracted to the scent of fine Irish whiskey and Honduran cigars and I had unknowingly placed myself in harms way by getting between a large buck and his favorite treat. Using this bit of knowledge I devised a plan to hunt this cunning stag down. During the summer months on warm nights, I can be found on vigil in my my deck chair, dutifully downing glasses of bait and puffing honduran cigars, with my trusty .458 Weatherby Mark V close at hand. I have as yet to bag the crafty fellow but have caught glimpses of him and even managed to get a shot off one night, he however easily dodged my shot with his uncanny senses.
Now as winter settles in, and Jackelopes retreat to the saftey and warmth of their underground dens, I am experimenting with a new strategy. In a turn of the century textbook, found by my wife, quite by accident at a garage sale . I noticed a small paragraph about my loathsome quarry. It seems in days of old, Jackelopes could, on occasion, be lured out of their winter homes by the foamy head that forms on a freshly poured glass of Guinness and a steaming bowl of clam chowder, yes..... I'm looking forward to continuing this perilous sport. The Game is afoot!!

I.B.