Hard to tell from this grainy photo, but this villain stands over six feet tall!!

Jackelope Hunting

The Jackelope is a rare and ellusive creature whose succulent venison is truly the food of Kings. There are many varieties of Jackelopes. The North Eastern Woodland Jack is the largest and most dangerous variety and I am lucky enough to live in the midst of their habitat. The males, called bucks, develope impressive antlers as they mature. Looking like a cross between a Jack Rabbit and a White Tailed Deer, these powerful, omniverous and nocturnal predators range in size from 60 to well over 200 pounds and possess uncanny senses that some say border on the supernatural.
My first encounter with them happened some 40 years ago, I was a young boy of six, enjoying a early evening firefly hunt in the field next to my families home, I foolishly had a half eaten candy bar in my back pocket. Suddenly I was attacked from behing, thrown to the ground and savagely pummeled, upon regaining consciousness I discovered that my mayonaisse jar containing my firefly catch had been opened and all my prized glowing insects had been released, further examination revealed that I had been relieved of my candy bar, as I approached my older sister, tears streaming down my face and told her my story, she just smiled knowingly, swallowed and said, "Jackelopes" This life changing event instilled a burning hatred in me for these vile animals, that until recently remained dormant.
The event that rekindled my fear and hatred of Jackelopes began quite innocently on a fine clear summer night as I sat on my deck enjoying the warm breeze, starry sky, a cigar and a glass or two of Irish whiskey. As I was refilling my glass the song of the crickets and tree frogs I had been enjoying suddenly stopped, an eerie silence ensued. Now, the visciousness of the ensueing attack seems to have affected my memory, as the rest of the evening is a bit blurry, but it seems I remember seeing a movement out of the corner of my eye as I drained my tumbler, my next memory finds me laying in my neighbors yard, stripped to my skivvies with a pounding headache, the obvious victim of a savage Jackelope attack, as I dazedly followed the trail of my shredded clothing in the early morning daylight back through the woods to my house, a sneaking suspicion began within me that increased as I discovered that my once full bottle of whiskey now lay empty on the deck. A quick bit of research confirmed my theory. It seems Jackelope bucks are attracted to the scent of fine Irish whiskey and Honduran cigars and I had unknowingly placed myself in harms way by getting between a large buck and his favorite treat. Using this bit of knowledge I devised a plan to hunt this cunning stag down. During the summer months on warm nights, I can be found on vigil in my my deck chair, dutifully downing glasses of bait and puffing honduran cigars, with my trusty .458 Weatherby Mark V close at hand. I have as yet to bag the crafty fellow but have caught glimpses of him and even managed to get a shot off one night, he however easily dodged my shot with his uncanny senses.
Now as winter settles in, and Jackelopes retreat to the saftey and warmth of their underground dens, I am experimenting with a new strategy. In a turn of the century textbook, found by my wife, quite by accident at a garage sale . I noticed a small paragraph about my loathsome quarry. It seems in days of old, Jackelopes could, on occasion, be lured out of their winter homes by the foamy head that forms on a freshly poured glass of Guinness and a steaming bowl of clam chowder, yes..... I'm looking forward to continuing this perilous sport. The Game is afoot!!

I.B.