From Panic comes Hope

I was on a work assignment in Atlanta, Ga. 1988 when the guys on the crew suggested I go see a really hot band from Athens that evening - "Wide Spread Panic" - How can you go wrong with a name like that, back to the hotel for a quick shower and out the door for a club in the Little Five Points area of Downtown ATL. The crowd was diverse with hippies, preps, bikers, punkers and even a few suit and ties, what kind of band could bring all these peoples together in a mellow happy atmosphere? I got the answer a few minutes later when "Panic" took the stage, from the very first chord it was apparent that these guys were the real deal - they "meant it" when a group of musicians gets on stage and bares their soul to the crowd and even the dude with the slicked back hair and wife beater, whose only mission for the night was another conquest, puts down his drink and is enveloped by the groove, you know something special is happening. Panic took everyone in the bar that evening on a journey to someplace where there was no war, hunger, hatred, black white or negativity, it was "religion" in it's purest form and it touched my soul. Flash forward 8 years. The cassette tape I bought on the way out the door that magical night had long since been worn to a droning hiss, a local radio station announces a new band called "Wide Spread Panic" is coming to town and they are giving away tickets to a little pre-show gig in a local recording studio called "Dajelon", caller 15...I dropped my nail gun and ran for the phone and won 2 tickets!! I think the radio station was WMAX and they would periodically collaborate with the Dajalon Studio for a event called "Live at Dajelon" it was about as intimate as a recording studio can be, small stage and maybe 50 folding chairs set up in front with pizza, wings and sodas in the back. Around noon, the band walks on stage, John Bell has a half empty 12 pack of Bud, they begin to play and instantly take me right back to that bar in Atlanta, They played the entire Space Wrangler album, and a couple weeks later WMAX broadcast the gig start to finish commercial free, I recorded it and once again had my Panic fix.
Now it's 2009, married, kids the economy sucks, my once steady job is long gone, I've been overcome by war, hatred, worries, politics, bills, life is killing me slowly, I'm losing hope, panic..... I'm online looking for work yet again and an email pops up from my beautiful wife - Allman Bros. and Wide Spread Panic are coming to CMAC, you want to go? My heart skips a beat HELL YEAH I WANNA GO, then reality rears it's ugly head, shit, we can't afford to go and spend money on entertainment... I write back, "luv to but can't afford it" as I hit send my message was somehow transformed into "let's do it!" before I can correct it, a reply comes back " it's done". Divine intervention perhaps? It's a Saturday night, puffy clouds are scattered in the warm breezy sky, we are driving to the outdoor venue at CMAC, a perfect place for music on a perfect evening. As we pass by the other folks walking to the show, I am once again amazed by the diversity , an old gray beard on the side of the road with a sign that says "I need tickets" I laugh and say - "look at the old dude", my wife reminds me that if it were me standing there, one could say the same...ok, point taken. The vibe in the parking lot is very mellow, everyone having a good time and relaxed, as we walk up the sidewalk towards the stage, the tour coach passes us, 30 minutes later Panic opens the show and halfway through the first song I am once again returned to that place where everything is good. As I look around the venue at all the out stretched hands overhead and everyone swaying in unison, it seemed as though we were not sitting in a theatre watching a musical performance but instead riding a giant roller coaster through the astral plane on a ride through time ( no I wasn't trippin') Thank you Wide Spread Panic once again for giving me hope and reminding me of what's really important in life, and thanks to Derek Trucks and Warren Haynes for feeding off and adding to the energy that was onstage that night. It had been 21 years since I first saw that show in ATL y'all still have it going on, and thank you for baring your souls to so many people and giving us all a part of you to take with us forever. Peace, Jon

Job Market

The other day I joined one of these online job services, I don’t want to publicly trash talk any one but this companies initials are CareerBuilder.com. You simply send them a resume` and they use their vast database of open positions and their "patent-pending recommendation engine" to match your qualifications with an appropriate job.
Let me give you some background here, I have worked in the trade show/exhibit industry for the past 20 years and before that I had a construction/mechanical background. My talents are cabinet making, machining and fabricating along with installation and supervision.
OK, I was pretty stoked about this job service, it’s a great idea, but as I will explain, it seems the actual application of the concept to the real world leaves a bit to be desired. After joining the service I immediately received an email from them with a list of ‘matching’ job openings, I’m thinking WOW! This is awesome, I open the email and the first job listed…the best possible match is… ‘Mammogram Technician’ WTF?!?! Ok, being a heterosexual male, I like boobs, and having worked in a shop for my whole life, I know how to operate a vise AND, I own a digital camera, but matching my qualifications to this job is a stretch no matter how you look at it, not to mention I think I’d have a hard time explaining to my wife my sudden interest in other women’s breasts!! Alright, I’ll chalk that up to a computer glitch, next match… the second most likely position I qualify for? ‘Medical Administrative Assistant’ hmmm, I’m beginning to see a pattern develop. OK, my Mom was a nurse, I have a sister who IS a Medical Administative Assistant and having ridden motorcycles since I was 7, I have had more than my share of injuries, including 20 broken bones….some of which I’ve even set myself. However, I didn’t mention any of these things in my resume and am a little freaked out that they could somehow make the connection that I am a good match for a job in the medical field. Third on the list, let me guess…Obstetrician?? Nope, Deputy Sheriff...uh-huh, I have had quite a bit of experience in roadside negotiations with deputy sheriffs, state troopers and the local constabulary. To this day when I see a police car on the road my heart skips a beat and I do a mental inventory of all the things I might possibly get pulled over for, speeding, inspection sticker, lights not working, loud pipes, pony-tail sticking out from my helmet, I've been pretty legal as of late but old habits do die hard. How any of this could make me a good candidate for a position in law enforcement baffles me. On to number four on my list of jobs created by CareerBuilder.com’s ‘patent-pending recommendation engine’‘Pharmacy Technician’ - ummm....we’ll just leave that one alone.
Thanks CareerBuilder, for wasting my time. What, you may ask, do any of these jobs have to do with me? After investigating a bit I discovered that the only thing that would remotely associate my resume with these jobs is location, they are all within 50 miles of my house…is that how your “patent-pending recommendation engine” works? You might want to fine tune it a bit more before you go any further with the patent, those things can be pretty pricey.

The Dole

Workforce New York

Due to testicle difficulties (not mine mine by the way) beyond my control, I recently joined the ranks of the unemployed. Having been gainfully employed for the past 30 consecutive years, I am eligible for the state of New York's unemployment insurance program.

Being on the Dole is a pretty new concept to me, and I must admit that I'm enjoying it a little too much. I simply log on to the Dept. of Labors website every sunday, answer a few simple questions and the state credits my "Workforce NY" debit card with my weekly benefit. How nice is that? I can buy groceries, pay my utility bills, treat my family to a nice dinner at an expensive restaraunt, buy crap on the internet, restock my liquor cabinet, book a flight to Vegas and gamble ....wait a minute now, some of these things don't seem like they should be permitted, being on the Dole and all. Ok, I've read the fine print on my card agreement and there are indeed 3 things that I cannot use my debit card for. Paying my phone bill for instance, well sure, that makes sense, why would I need to pay my phone bill, it's not like I have to call prospective employers to set up an interview or anything. What else.....ok, I cannot purchase gas with my card, well yeah! If I can't make any phone calls to set up an interview OBVIOUSLY I won't need to use any gas, DUH !! Criuses. I cannot book a cruise using my WFNY card?...hmmm....doesn't really make any sense...oh well, guess I'll just have to walk down to the liquor store and get some booze, if I pass by any bars on the way I can stop in for a drink and play a few games of Quick Draw, buy a couple lotto tickets and some smokes. Maybe I'll pass by a place of employment that's looking for help. No potential employer is going to bat an eye if I walk into their parking lot, carrying my sack from the liquor store, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes with a couple lotto tickets sticking out of my pocket and ask to fill out a job application. I wonder what I should put down for how to contact me...I don't have a phone....ok, I'll just tell them to call the bar and leave a message. Meanwhile I better get home, there's a great new show on HBO that I just CAN'T miss, better grab some beer at the mini-mart...ohh look an ATM wonder if I can get some cash with my WFNY card...YUP awesome!! Now I can get a bag of weed too.....damn, I sure am glad that the state passed a 13 week extention for my benefits. What's that? I also get a 7 week federal extention!?!? WFNY ?? More like WTF-NY

To Infinity and Beyond!!!!

It's finally over. 8 years of the lies and deceptions of a stolen office have ended. Break out the hats and hooters folks, Georgie's going home !!!!!!!

Bubye Dubya XOX

Sláinte Mhaith, I.B.