Workforce New York
Due to testicle difficulties (not mine mine by the way) beyond my control, I recently joined the ranks of the unemployed. Having been gainfully employed for the past 30 consecutive years, I am eligible for the state of New York's unemployment insurance program.
Being on the Dole is a pretty new concept to me, and I must admit that I'm enjoying it a little too much. I simply log on to the Dept. of Labors website every sunday, answer a few simple questions and the state credits my "Workforce NY" debit card with my weekly benefit. How nice is that? I can buy groceries, pay my utility bills, treat my family to a nice dinner at an expensive restaraunt, buy crap on the internet, restock my liquor cabinet, book a flight to Vegas and gamble ....wait a minute now, some of these things don't seem like they should be permitted, being on the Dole and all. Ok, I've read the fine print on my card agreement and there are indeed 3 things that I cannot use my debit card for. Paying my phone bill for instance, well sure, that makes sense, why would I need to pay my phone bill, it's not like I have to call prospective employers to set up an interview or anything. What else.....ok, I cannot purchase gas with my card, well yeah! If I can't make any phone calls to set up an interview OBVIOUSLY I won't need to use any gas, DUH !! Criuses. I cannot book a cruise using my WFNY card?...hmmm....doesn't really make any sense...oh well, guess I'll just have to walk down to the liquor store and get some booze, if I pass by any bars on the way I can stop in for a drink and play a few games of Quick Draw, buy a couple lotto tickets and some smokes. Maybe I'll pass by a place of employment that's looking for help. No potential employer is going to bat an eye if I walk into their parking lot, carrying my sack from the liquor store, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes with a couple lotto tickets sticking out of my pocket and ask to fill out a job application. I wonder what I should put down for how to contact me...I don't have a phone....ok, I'll just tell them to call the bar and leave a message. Meanwhile I better get home, there's a great new show on HBO that I just CAN'T miss, better grab some beer at the mini-mart...ohh look an ATM wonder if I can get some cash with my WFNY card...YUP awesome!! Now I can get a bag of weed too.....damn, I sure am glad that the state passed a 13 week extention for my benefits. What's that? I also get a 7 week federal extention!?!? WFNY ?? More like WTF-NY
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